


Hidden Talent

by the_technicolor_whiscash



Category: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Genre: Escape, Gen, Synthia is like a transformer, based like sometime after cry wilderness, escaping from the SOL, more than meets the eye
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-12
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-12-26 20:20:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12066276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_technicolor_whiscash/pseuds/the_technicolor_whiscash
Summary: Synthia is more than meets the eye.





	Hidden Talent

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired after watching cry wilderness to write this

“You’re my favorite Child/Grandchild/Cousin/Friend/Mail Delivery Person.” Synthia said in a monotone voice, as she almost robotically put her arms around Kinga. Kinga simply stood there, looking disturbed, while she talked to her grandmother. But little did either of them know, Synthia was hatching a scheme like no Forrester had ever seen. 

On the outside, Synthia appeared to simply be a sub-par clone of Pearl. She looked like Pearl, but that was where the similarities stopped. She had less personality than even the Boneheads, and talked more robotically than the Bots themselves. 

But in reality, Synthia had all of the intelligence of Pearl, perhaps with a touch more sanity and a touch less evil. She played off the useless clone persona, even though it couldn't be further from the truth. And she was going to find a way to get the Satellite of Love to earth. 

Because Synthia herself wasn't evil. She was somewhat chaotic neutral, not wanting to help Kinga in her shenanigans, but still caring about her to a point. She was, after all, a clone of Kinga’s grandma, and seemed to have gotten what little caring Pearl had towards her granddaughter as a part of her genetically reproduced personality. 

Synthia also knew that she couldn't hatch such a scheme without help. She couldn't go to Max, because he would immediately tell Kinga, and couldn't go to Jonah, because even he might let it slip. And so she settled her sights on two people. One, a Bonehead, and the other, the Kingachrome operator Ardy. 

As soon as Kinga was out of sight, Synthia approached her chosen Bonehead. “Hey. You. I need to talk to you.”

“Me? Uh, alright, sure. You’re Pearl’s clone, right?”

Synthia took a deep breath. “Yes. I’m Pearl’s clone, Synthia. I have an idea, but I'll need your help.”

“I didn't think you were capable of intelligent thought.”

She was within inches of losing her temper. “Well, I am. Now, just hear me out for a moment. What’s your name?”

“I don't really have a name. Kinga just sort of yells at us all collectively.” 

“You can't not have a name. How about I call you… Ed.”

“Works for me. Now, what did you wanna talk to me about? I've gotta head down to Moon 14 in a few.”

“I've got an idea of how to break Jonah out of the Satellite, but I'm gonna need your help.”

Ed seemed to ponder it for a moment. Finally, he nodded. “Yeah, ok. I'll help you out.” 

“Fantastic. There’s someone else I have to talk to, and then I'll get back to you.” 

Synthia turned and headed off to the elevator to take her down to Moon 14. But as she entered the elevator, Max entered behind her. 

“Hey Synthia.” Max said. “How’s things?”

“Everything is as usual, thank you for asking, Friend/Child/Grandchild/other.” Synthia replied, reverting to her robotic tone of voice to disguise her true motives. 

“That’s good.”

The elevator dinged and the door opened, and Max walked out. 

“Bye.” He said, clearly just wanting to be polite to the clone. 

“Farewell.” 

Once he was gone, Synthia made her way to the room in which the Kingachrome was kept. The guy who ran it, Ardy, usually wore a recognizable hazmat suit, as the Kingachrome liquid was… less than stable. And she found him dressed in it, sitting on a chair just outside the Kingachrome room, evidently quite invested in something on his phone. 

“You’re Ardy?” She asked him, getting his attention. 

“Last I checked. You’re Synthia, right?”

“Yes. I need to ask you a question”

“Shoot.”

“I have a plan to get Jonah out of the Satellite of Love. But I can't do it alone. Would you be willing to help me?”

It was impossible to tell Ardy’s expression through his suit, but she could tell that he nodded. “Sure. Let's just say I've had some experience with escaping Forresters.” 

“Keep in mind, I am technically a Forrester. I’m a genetic duplicate of Pearl.”

“Clearly not an exact duplicate. Pearl would've never tried to help a test subject get down from earth.”

“You’re right on that. I’m my own person.”

“How come you never let Kinga know that? She’d probably respect you if you did.”

“I can't do that. It would ruin my whole plan.”

“Alright. I understand that.” 

Synthia paused, thinking back on something Ardy had said. “Hold on, what do you mean you have a lot of experience escaping Forresters?”

A moment’s hesitation. “It’s a long story. Maybe later I'll be able to tell you. But right now I have to deal with the Kingachrome. The movie’s almost done, and we’re gonna have to package it up and store it.”

Synthia nodded. “Right. Of course. Listen, I'll contact you again tomorrow and I'll tell you the details of my plan. I've also got a member of the Skeleton Crew working with us. I'm sure he’ll be useful somehow.”

“Well, I'll be here.” Ardy began to head towards the Kingachrome room but paused. “It was nice meeting you, Synthia.”

“Nice meeting you too, Ardy. Be ready for tomorrow.”

“I will.”

\----------------

The next day, Synthia had her entire plan in order. Before the show’s opening, she would pickpocket the backjack’s keys from Max, an easy task. During the opening, Ardy would distract Kinga with malfunctioning Kingachrome equipment. And then, at the end, Ed would get Jonah to the backjack, Synthia would hand him the keys, and he would be home free. 

She gathered Ed and Ardy in a hidden storage room off of the main hall. Once there, she told them the whole plan. 

“Once things start happening,” she said, “I’ll give a signal that it's go time.”

Ed nodded. “Sounds good to me.” 

But Ardy didn't seem so sure. Or at least, he didn't sound so sure. He still wore his hazmat suit which covered his face. “What about the robots? The ones on the Satellite?”

“What about them?”

“Well, they're people too. With feelings and personalities. We can't just leave them there without anyone.”

Synthia paused. She hadn't thought about that. “Well, that makes things more complicated. I was just aiming to save the test subject, but-”

“Save the Bots too, or I'm not helping.” Ardy’s voice hardened. 

“Why? Why do you care about a bunch of robots?” Ed asked. 

Ardy seemed to be pondering how to respond. “They’re… special to me, ok? They're friends.”

Synthia frowned. “Friends? How could you be friends with the Bots? Unless you were a…”

“Test subject.” He sighed. “I wanted to try and avoid telling you guys. Thought you might blow my cover. But I guess it's already blown.”

Slowly, Ardy reached up and removed his helmet, revealing a tired and not too unfamiliar face. Though he had aged some, he was not unrecognizable. 

“Joel Robinson?” Synthia exclaimed, upon seeing the man’s true countenance. “Since when did you come to Moon 13?”

“I've been here since the start. Once I got wind that Kinga was restarting the experiments, I couldn't let another innocent sap get tortured in the same way Mike and I were. So I volunteered to be a Kingachrome specialist, and I've been tinkering with the movies, trying to edit them to be less terrible. But sometimes, even skillful editing can't help.”

Synthia put a hand to her forehead and sighed. “I can't believe this. Fine. We can get your Bots. If only because I think you’re probably the most qualified person to be doing this with.”

Joel/Ardy nodded. “Good. Through the extraction tube, the one they use to suck up Jonah, we can use it to get the Bots too. But we’ll have to hijack the system.”

“Can you do that?”

“Absolutely. But I might need some cover while I do, just in case someone finds me and asks me what I'm doing.”

Ed stepped in. “I can take care of that. I'll just say you're working on an aspect of Kingachrome. That'll shut anyone up.”

Synthia nodded. “Good. With that, would we even need the opening?”

Joel shook his head. “We won't. But it would look suspicious if we did it at a random time, and we might get caught.”

“You have a point. Alright, we’ll wait until the next episode’s opener, which will be in three days. In the meantime, I'll get Jonah’s keys, while you two deal with the extraction tube.”

\---------------

Three days later, everything was going smoothly. The extraction tube was hijacked under a minute, partially due to Joel’s electrical prowess and the fact that the systems were surprisingly rudimentary. Synthia easily got Jonah’s keys from Max, who had left them on top of the fridge in the breakroom. Part of Synthia worried that the plan was going almost too smoothly, but another part of her knew it was pointless to worry. However, they did experience one hickup. Synthia didn't have time to slip the keys into the backjack unnoticed. She would have to get them to Jonah manually. 

Finally, the show opener. The extraction tube sucked up Jonah as it normally did. But then, just as they had planned, it sucked all of the Bots up too, depositing them into the backjack alongside Jonah. 

Joel had kept his word, seamlessly distracting Kinga and Max by spilling Kingachrome fluid-colored water all over the floor. While they were occupied by that, Ed watched her back as Synthia slipped into the backjack to hand Jonah the keys. 

“Synthia? What's going on?” Jonah said, looking surprised. 

“We’re breaking you out.” She replied, handing him his keys. “As soon as I leave, hit the gas and get out of here.”

“Wh… Synthia, I… what?”

Synthia rolled her eyes. “Take keys. Fly away. Go. Bring your robots.”

“No way, I… thank you so much.” He stuttered. 

Suddenly, Synthia heard Ed’s voice float into the backjack. “Synthia! Hurry up! We’ve got company!”

“Stop wasting time. Just go!” Synthia yelled, as she slid down the entrance ramp to the backjack. She had no idea if Jonah said anything after that, because at this point, she had grabbed Ed by the hand and bolted down a side hall. 

She could hear as the backjack took off, taking with it Jonah and the Bots. But now would be the hard part. Trying to explain why she did it. 

“Ed. If anyone asks, you don't know me, I'm just a dumb clone who pressed the wrong button. Got it?” 

“Synthia, I’m not gonna let you take the fall. We all were a part of this.” 

“And if Kinga catches us, we’ll all be in some deep shit.”

“Like they said on Lost; live together, die alone.”

“What does that even mean?”

“I don't know, but it sounded good.”

Synthia sighed. “Fine. Your funeral. But don't let anyone know I'm not just a stupid clone.”

“Why? At this point, why does it matter?”

She thought for a moment. “I don't know. I just feel like it does.” 

Suddenly, someone else appeared in the hall, causing them both to jump. But it was just Joel, panting, apparently from running over to them. 

“They’re gone?” He said, attempting to regain his breath. 

“Yes. They took the backjack and flew down to earth.”

“Good. Well, I guess my work here is done.”

“Oh yeah, how are you even going to get back to earth?”

“I have a small ship docked in a dusty, mostly unused loading bay.” 

“Oh. So I guess this is goodbye, then.”

“I guess.” Joel paused. “You guys can come with me if you want. You'd probably be better off than staying here with the Queen of All Media.”

“Hey. Technically she is still my granddaughter. I still love her. Even if she does scare me a little.” 

“You wouldn't have to pretend to be dumb anymore.”

Thoughts which had never occurred to Synthia now flooded her head. The ideas that she could start a new life of earth. Get a job. Make friends. Actually have a life. Something which appealed to her immensely. 

And the fact that she had never even been to earth before. Her entire existence had been on Moon 13, or in Pearl’s space Volkswagen. 

“Alright. I’m game.” 

Joel nodded. “Good. Ed?”

Ed seemed too to be conflicted, but he quickly resolved his internal conflict. “Sure. I've got nothing left for me here.”

Joel smiled. “Alright. I'll take you two to earth. My ship’s just this way.”

As they followed Joel down the corridor, Ed paused Synthia. 

“I want to apologize for the fact that I doubted you in the first place. You're smart, and a good person.” 

“Thank you, Ed. I appreciate that.” She took a deep breath. “You know, I've never even been to earth.”

“Neither have I. Are we technically aliens?”

“You know what? I have no idea. But what are we gonna do when we get there?”

“I don't know. I've been thinking about different things. Maybe I'll buy a boat, become a fisherman.”

“That sounds like a good idea. Mind if I join you on that?”

“Not at all. I’m sure it'd be easier with a business partner.”

**Author's Note:**

> Wow not a single shippy thing in this story  
> I haven't done something like that in a while  
> In most of my stories a ship is at least mentioned  
> But not this one


End file.
